User Profile

my mom was on a greyhound headed for the desert to meet some injuns. i guess i was in her womb but i didnt know it yet and i guess niether did she and i guess thats what happens if you get to close to truckers. so she went into the bathroom for a nice solid bowel movement and a little floppy dead blue fetus slid out and plopped out onto the floor. i was birthed from her anus, thats why my head has that weird shape...
or maybe its because she kicked me out of the way, i mean who needs that shit in their life anyway? so i guess mom met her injuns and forgot her dead baby in the bathroom on the bus. a pack of dirtbike riding wolves lead by pat sajak hi-jacked the bus and killed and ate everybody but the dead blue fetus on the bathroom floor. one of the wolves found me a few days later on their way to saskatchewan to eat some pancakes and hid me under her tongue untill she could get her dirtbike off the trailer on the back of the bus.
she bit holes into my arteries and used my body as an oil filter on her dirtbike and it actually saved my life. i was alive again. i spent most of my childhood just hangin' on for dear life on the back of my surrogate wolf-mothers dirtbike traveling across the desert plains. then those teen years crept up and i rebelled from the dirtbike wolfpack and hitched to michigan where ive been couch surfing ever since.



i fell down the stairs
into a puddle of lava
and dropped my baby
into a pool of aquatic rats
with chainsaws as hats
and lots of chlorine
and it gave it a rash
and i got the rash too

my baby needs popsicles to make it feel better Thank You

Friends (14):

Mutual Friends (8):

Also Friend of (11):